IT'S PARADE NIGHT AGAIN!

4. SORRY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?
Establishing relationships between officers and boys.

Our Object reminds us that our task is to "advance Christ's Kingdom among boys". When Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4) he first built up a relationship with her; it is only at the end of the passage that he reveals He is the Messiah. To achieve our goal we need to follow our Lord's example and build up relationships with our boys.

Companies with only limited adult help may at first think that this could be quite a challenge, given that most of the evening is spent actually delivering the programme leaving little or no time to talk to individual boys. Companies with several officers and/or helpers should in theory be in a better position, but in practice when not needed for a particular activity some may feel that they are "off duty".

Ask yourself this question:

" How well do I know my boys?"

If you feel that you would like to get to know your boys better then you may like to consider the following thoughts:

1. Learn the names of your boys. If you have to ask him for his name he will rightly feel that you are not really interested in him.

2. Boys will accept that you have not undergone the same professional training as their schoolteachers. However it will aid you in establishing and maintaining good relationships if you are well prepared. So, time spent in becoming knowledgeable about the subject matter you're teaching, in getting material ready beforehand, in producing good quality visual aids etc. will be time well spent. If you are going to use equipment like an overhead projector or video player learn beforehand how to use it. Whilst boys will be only to ready to assist you if you're unsure it will not help your "image" of someone who is firmly in control of the situation.

3. Consider how you will deal with bad behaviour. Being firm and fair is a good maxim. See leaflet 2 in this series.

4. Take time to get to know about your boys their interests, concerns, families etc. You will need to balance you caring concern against being inquisitive. Teenage boys especially will be unhappy about revealing details about girl friends; take care not to embarrass them!

5. Where does this time come from? Consider the following suggestions; probably you will be able to think of others.

(i) invite a parent or church member to come along and take over a task like taking subs, or making the orange squash, so you can spend time talking with the boys and/or their parents.

(ii) Incorporate a relatively straightforward activity into the programme where you can sit down with the boys and talk with them as they complete the task before them.

(iii)Hold an informal evening choose activities which allow you to have time with a group of boys.

(iv) Take the boys out for the evening. Use the time on the journey and at the activity itself to talk to the boys.

(v) If you have spare staff allocate them as assistants to a specific activity. As long as they do not undermine the authority of the person leading the activity they can talk to the boys or supervise them. Alternatively officers and helpers need to use their initiative and attach themselves to a group instead of waiting for their activity to start.

6. Remember the purpose of getting to know your boys: so that you can achieve our Object - extending Christ's Kingdom among boys. Can you talk to your boys about what Jesus Christ means in your own life? Can you explain, in suitable language, what makes a person a Christian? See also leaflet 5 in this series.